So when am I going to fit in two more credits? I have no idea. I am, actually, signed up for the EMT class, and I could take that through the college for credit, but it would cost $2544 in addition to the $125 that I already spent to take the class, but I need a permission number to sign up for the class. So I call the people to get the permission number, hoping that they will give me this little five digit number which will cost me $2500 but will end up giving me $6000 so that I can live for the next four months. I wonder how I'll handle a 6 credit load next semester too, since I've decided that I want to continue on and take the paramedic class since you can't actually work for the city unless you're a full blown medic... I sometimes wonder if I'm being too brash, too bold, too assumptive, in believing that I deserve this, that I have the right to actually follow this yearning, to chase this dream at all. Shouldn't I just grow up? Shouldn't I just graduate and get a job, and stop being so needy?
But then I think of all those days that come after this, and this is just a bump in the road, a little bureaucratic exercise meant to test my faith, my resolve, and my ability to continue on against circumstances beyond my control.